Paradox

     Gilbert Keith Chesterton, an English writer, poet, theologian, genius and prince of paradox,  once was quoted as having said, "When it rains, look up rather than down.  Without rain, there would be no rainbow."  He  was commenting on the difficulties in relationships.   Stormy days which are arguments, are  necessary  for a relationship to grow and/or reach its final outcome.  Either way, the sun will  eventually come out from behind those dark clouds shedding light where there was darkness and doubt.  You need to think about what you heart and soul are telling you to do to reveal  that rainbow.  No relationship is perfect and  can  evolve into something more satisfying for all,  if you bravely forge forward and express how you truly feel.

      In relationships, as in all things, you need to be honest with yourself and then to others.  If someone does something that angers you it is better to let them know rather than stifle your emotions and pretend to be someone you are not.  If that person is sincere and is truly invested in the relationship,  a compromise can be reached.  Initially, it may take time for the feathers to settle.   You may have to deal with rejection, either temporary or permanent,  but self-sacrifice leaves you no better off. You must live with yourself and be at peace.  If the  outcome is not what you anticipated perhaps you are still better off.  You have gained some insight in your dealings with others and who you really are.  Do not judge, merely move on and seek a higher ground.  Inner peace needs to be an attainable goal.  Reassess your relationships and see if you are getting what you need to achieve personal growth and if not move on.  Sometimes it is wise to recognize that you can't get blood from a stone.  A so-called friend may not be capable of the kind of reciprocation you require. With time you will get over it.

     My wise grandmother told me that people show you who they are by what they do. This has been my rubric in my relationships with others. Do not blind yourself to the short-comings of others and yourself  but don't accept less than you deserve. If everything is not okay don't go along hoping things will change.  To be okay you have to make them be okay.  In "the Owner's Manual For Your Life," Stewart Emery says when you stop pretending okayness you can begin to discover it.  Only then can you build relationships that are real.   I have discovered  this to be true.  I accept the paradox that without rain we would not have rainbows.   You have to crack open some eggs to make an omelet.  Anticipate a rainbow after the rain when you express yourself  to a true friend.  Unfortunately, sometimes people are   disappointing. Your feelings  may not be accepted.  In  the end,   all is  for the best, you still get that rainbow, as you will now be in the company of   like-minded individuals who are invested in personal growth.
     Looking forward to another year of meaningful insights to share with you!
     Best Wishes for the New Year!

Bottom Line :  After the darkness comes the light.