Paradox

     Gilbert Keith Chesterton, an English writer, poet, theologian, genius and prince of paradox,  once was quoted as having said, "When it rains, look up rather than down.  Without rain, there would be no rainbow."  He  was commenting on the difficulties in relationships.   Stormy days which are arguments, are  necessary  for a relationship to grow and/or reach its final outcome.  Either way, the sun will  eventually come out from behind those dark clouds shedding light where there was darkness and doubt.  You need to think about what you heart and soul are telling you to do to reveal  that rainbow.  No relationship is perfect and  can  evolve into something more satisfying for all,  if you bravely forge forward and express how you truly feel.

      In relationships, as in all things, you need to be honest with yourself and then to others.  If someone does something that angers you it is better to let them know rather than stifle your emotions and pretend to be someone you are not.  If that person is sincere and is truly invested in the relationship,  a compromise can be reached.  Initially, it may take time for the feathers to settle.   You may have to deal with rejection, either temporary or permanent,  but self-sacrifice leaves you no better off. You must live with yourself and be at peace.  If the  outcome is not what you anticipated perhaps you are still better off.  You have gained some insight in your dealings with others and who you really are.  Do not judge, merely move on and seek a higher ground.  Inner peace needs to be an attainable goal.  Reassess your relationships and see if you are getting what you need to achieve personal growth and if not move on.  Sometimes it is wise to recognize that you can't get blood from a stone.  A so-called friend may not be capable of the kind of reciprocation you require. With time you will get over it.

     My wise grandmother told me that people show you who they are by what they do. This has been my rubric in my relationships with others. Do not blind yourself to the short-comings of others and yourself  but don't accept less than you deserve. If everything is not okay don't go along hoping things will change.  To be okay you have to make them be okay.  In "the Owner's Manual For Your Life," Stewart Emery says when you stop pretending okayness you can begin to discover it.  Only then can you build relationships that are real.   I have discovered  this to be true.  I accept the paradox that without rain we would not have rainbows.   You have to crack open some eggs to make an omelet.  Anticipate a rainbow after the rain when you express yourself  to a true friend.  Unfortunately, sometimes people are   disappointing. Your feelings  may not be accepted.  In  the end,   all is  for the best, you still get that rainbow, as you will now be in the company of   like-minded individuals who are invested in personal growth.
     Looking forward to another year of meaningful insights to share with you!
     Best Wishes for the New Year!

Bottom Line :  After the darkness comes the light.

If and Then On Broaway in NYC

    Two of these words  are from the title of a Broadway  play currently  starring Idina Menzel.  She is a fabulous singer  noted for her performance in  another famous musical Broadway show "Wicked" and  a 2013 American 3D Walt Disney Studios computer-animated musical fantasy film entitled "Frozen".  Her newest endeavor is  2 hours thirty-five minutes of musical bliss  chocked full of messages about the choices we make in life reflecting our perception of what we believe we can achieve  with influences from our past.
   The protagonist, a newly divorced teacher of urban design,  returns to Manhattan from Phoenix to start her life anew.  Uanble to make a decision about who she wants to spend time with, she begins a dual life journey.  She is split in  half,  while we watch her life go in two different directions.  Beth, her career oriented side seems to be unlucky in love while Liz, wearing glasses, is an activist and a dreamer who, remarried with two children, is uncertain about her career path.     Side by side we experience the two alternate lives she could lead.  But also we become aware of the infinite possibilities of all the lives she affects which is symbolized by the fractionalized mirrored ceiling which makes every action more complex.  To make things more intriguing,  the  possibility  of fate or predestination  is brought into the mix which offers us endless thoughts about whether we really have limited  choices or whether what we chose really matters.
     The elements of fate versus choice that governs our lives are the basis for such songs as "What If," 'It's a Sign," "Some Other Me"and so on.    We follow  both Beth and Liz throughout the play and wonder who has made the right decision or if a right decision exists.  At times, following both Beth and Liz becomes a bit confusing, as you find yourself trying to recall which character is which.  We are assisted by glasses worn only by Liz and the different color of light-path for each, one in red and one in blue and the moments their lives overlap in purple.

Bottom line: As perplexing as this play might seem, the musical performances and the script keeps you joyfully entertained  way after the set fades to black.  It is truly worth the effort.  Think of what you might miss if you choose not to go.

Which choice would you make?

Lost in the Fifties- Another Time, Another Place

Lost in the Fifties- Another Time, Another Place

A simplier, sweeter life time!

How To Stop Dieting

     How many diets have you tried?  I have tried all so many that I can hardly enumerate.  I thought the Grapefruit Diet, Atkins Diet, Protein Diet, Low Carb Diet, Diet Cookie Diet, Hi Fiber Diet, Low Calorie Diet, Diet Club Diets, Celebrity Diets would  help  me reach my optimum weight. I never thought about whether it was good for my health, my energy level or qualitative longevity.  That was my first and worst mistake.  I never stopped to think about anything other than my own vanity.
     Online and Offline as my failure increased  my self-esteem dwindled.   Why do diets either fail or have short range success?  The answer is that a diet is not a life style change and is therefore,  doomed to failure.  It is like a bandaid on a hemorrhage.  It is a temporary stop gap but it fails to deal with the cause of the problem.
       We now have the advantage  and disadvantage of easy acquisition of  many types of food. It is  too easy to select unhealthy foods based on taste, texture, salt and sugar content, physical appeal, clever packaging and slick advertising ploys.  The trend towards obesity in both children and adults and its related health problems is directly related to our addiction to high fat, sugar and sodium laden, low fiber and nutrient deficient foods which, to be more  precise, are empty calories.   Most diets are restrictive in nature and increase your craving for these empty calories.   You  feel deprived, or you're not seeing the results quick enough or think you are just too hungry.  That should be another indication that you are on a diet that has you eating the wrong foods.  A lifestyle change that has a balance of protein, good fats, and fiber will go a long way to help you feel satiated.  It should also have taste appeal.  So what should you do?

•       Experiment with swapping in healthy ingredients for unhealthy ones. There are many sites like Skinnytaste that can help guide you or give you ideas about being creative with your food choices.   Just remember that too much of a good thing is just that.  It is possible to overeat planned for healthy foods like nuts, avocado, or coconut oil.     
• Revamp  your kitchen  for when you feel a "twinge of a binge" coming on.   It is reassuring to feel  that you won't  stray too far from your goals.  Some of my fav go-to snacks are:  dark chocolate goji berries, frozen berries with a dollop of whipped cream, dark chocolate dipped frozen bananas, frozen grapes, brownies made with black beans, almond butter in individual packets, air pumped popcorn sprayed with olive oil and spices, chocolate pudding made with avocados (see my post 'A Healthy Reward"), fresh melon cut up with cottage or ricotta cheese sauce made with agave and vanilla, frozen ice pops made with my protein drink and blended fruit, or a handful of nuts with a teaspoon of currants as your very own trail mix minus the added sugar.
• Portion size is almost always important perhaps with the exception of high fiber green veggies. Small meals every few hours means never being hungry because your metabolic rate stays revved up on a continuous basis.  Haven't you noticed that the first three bites of anything are the best?  After that you're  just eating because it's there.   Take time to savor the flavor and you will be rewarded.
•      Smart food shopping is a skill you must acquire to achieve your goals of improving your health and reaching your optimum weight.  It involves  reading the labels on  foods that are not single ingredient foods. If its chemical or you can't pronounce it don't eat it.  Look out for added sugar in any form because it makes that food addictive.   You can decide whether or not the price you pay for convenience is worth sacrificing your health.  You can find relatively healthy choices throughout store and also  allow for those occasional planned slips so you won't ever feel deprived.  
• Even though I create tasty snacks with healthy ingredient substitutions, I still like to have the taste of a no-no food every so often. Sometimes it's at a restaurant or something I put in my shopping cart.  Flexibility is key in life.  If you are unable to bend you will break.   What's important is not to be overwhelmed with guilt and get back on track.  Extend your energies on something more productive like reading this blog.
  

Microwave Away

     There has been  so much controversial and conflicting  information  microwaves.  There has been endless conjecture both pro and con. Some studies say the nutrient content of your food is diminished because of the molecular friction that heats up your food.  Others say heating   food in plastic containers in the microwave  release carcinogens along with other harmful toxins, so use glass containers.  All cooking methods does somewhat reduce the vitamin content of food to varying degrees.  Some studies say that microwaving food may be healthier than cooking food conventionally because microwaves cook food to the same degree for a shorter period of time.  Moderation is always the wisest course of action.
     I find the microwave a very useful tool beyond destroying the bacterial in my kitchen sponges.
Below are some of the ways a microwave can make your life a little easier.

•    Don't you hate it when  raw honey turns sugary or  brown sugar  turns into a formidable chunk reminiscent of the iceberg that collided with the  Titanic?  Relief is a microwave away!  Honey becomes uncrystallized in 30 seconds in the microwave in a glass bowl or glass jar removing the lid.  Soften brown sugar in a glass bowl covered by a moist towel for 20 seconds.  If you need more time to get the  required results, repeat as many times as necessary in the desired time increments.
•      Did you know that you can restore baked products to their former bakery shop selves by putting a moist towel around your bread, roll, bagels, croissants and muffins for 10 second increments?
•      How about all those extra herbs from your garden that are in danger of spoiling?  No problem!  Put them on a microwave plate covered with a towel for one minute and then 20 seconds thereafter.
•      Did you forget to soak your beans overnight?  No worries.  Just put I cup of beans in three cups of water in a covered microwaveable bowl for 15 minutes.  Then let it stand for 1 hour, drain, rinse with cool fresh water and you're good to go.
•     Do you think f steaming your veggies as a major production?  Just put them in a bowl with a little water and get ready.  Steaming fruits and veggies is so easy but its trial and error depending upon the desired nutrient content.  Closest to raw is best.  In this case, less microwaving is more nutrient content.
•     Does the anticipation of peeling and slicing an onion make you cry?  Weep no more!  Put them in the microwave for 30 seconds and your can be as tear free as the baby in shampoo commercials.  
• Thick skins on squash and other root veggies will no longer defy you and will become more pliable if put in the microwave for 2-3 minutes depending on size or thickness.

                                           


Bottom Line:  The microwave is more friend than foe.