Anger Management

     What do you do when whatever you have chosen  doesn't work out the way you planned? What happens when you express your needs and you are rejected? You can curse the heavens or sit on the pity pot but nothing will be resolved and you won't feel one bit better.  Isn't that the goal?  To feel better?  Unresolved anger can give rise to depression and to other negative affects. Below are some  strategies you might employ to manage your anger.

• Absent yourself from  toxic individuals manufacturing all the drama. Remove the cause and the effect will dissipate.   If you stay with negative people it over shadows the positives in your life.  Seek out the company of those who are pleasant, kind and thoughtful.  
• Suppress your frustration  and redirect your energies in the pursuit of those activities that bring you joy and inner peace. Stop thinking about your anger. Long walks, reading a book, listening to music, following a hobby, chatting with a friend are examples of behaviors that can serve  to make you feel better.  It will help you to calm down and lead to rational thinking.
• Simple relaxation tools like deep"gut" breathing while repeating a calm word or phrase or employing some slow less intense yoga stretches may help.  Meditation and yoga have seen me through some dark times.
• Change your thinking and you can change your life.  "The world is out to get you" is an example of an irrational thought.  Recognize overly dramatic thinking as an obstacle and redirect your thoughts to more rational ones like reminding yourself that its normal to feel frustrated, disappointed and hurt when you don't get what you want.  
• Accept that there may not always be a solution to your problem so direct your energies into facing the problem. Make a plan to deal with a situation you can not change.  Do whatever will not stir up your anger. Sometimes stepping back for a time and having some distance is helpful.  Progress may be slow but logic will eventually prevail.  Give time time.

     The way you choose to handle your anger will vary in each situation but the end result should lead to a logical way of dealing with your problem.  Mahatma Gandhi once compared holding on to anger  as similar to holding onto a hot piece of coal. It serves no purpose other than to burn you.  Human beings make mistakes.  Some will let you down but  others who  lift you up. Some will be out of control.  Just move on for you own sake.  Anger is necessary and there will always be events and/or people that trigger it.  You can not  eliminate pain, frustration and loss but you can change how you let anger affect you.

     Life is too short to waste time and energy on unproductive activities.  Obsession robs you of happy moments.  Pick yourself up and move forward with like minded souls.  Forgive where and when  necessity for your own sake and allow yourself to evolve and become a better person.  Change your mind and you change your life.

Bottom Line: "The best fighter is never angry" ~ Lao Tzu